Wait, what?

Hi.

Yeah, I know I just posted something this morning. But I wanted to write this down before I lose the spark. 

The title of this post is as confusing as the topic I'm about to talk. 

So let's start from this question, which is basically the point of this whole topic. 

What we actually do in life? Or to be precise, what we actually do WITH our life?

I'm not the kind of person to make plans for my life, or even my day. I just kinda let it happen the way it is meant to be. But I guess, for that reason, I often wondering what I'm actually doing with my life? Like what direction I'm heading, what should I do next, where am I in 5 years. Stuff like that keeps me awake at night. 

As a student, every time I get caught up in homework or task, I asked myself is this what I want to do with my life. Like, do I really need to spend 12 years in studying something I might never use in life such as Science, Biology, or Chemistry. Yes, I know some people might find that subject important for their life because they're going to dive in to that field. But not me. I'm not heading there. Wait, I don't even know where I'm heading.

I mean, I'm still trying to figure it out. I don't know if I have chose the right path, or maybe I don't have to choose my path just yet, or I actually have chose the wrong path and now there's no going back. All of this stuff about life is so confusing. And I can't exactly ask for anyone's advice since each of us has a different kind of life and dreams.

So, back to the question. What am I doing with my life?

For the record, I've been so unsure about everything in life. That's why making a life decision is so hard for me. Because I'm unsure not just with my choice, but also with myself.

I don't know if it's just me, or is everyone else actually having this kind of thought too at some point in their life. I can't seek answer from someone else's life then apply it to my life. I know I need to find the answer on my own. I should be the one to determines the path of my life.

But, I desperately needs help to avoid taking the wrong choice. Because I'm THAT afraid of failure.

Since I don't have the answer yet, I guess I'll be back to what I always did, which is to let it happen the way it's meant to be.

Sorry, this is isn't a very light topic.

I hope we can find the answer soon.

I'll see you later then.

Bye.

With hope,

Ivy

💕